Deja Vu
by 80sUnLoveChild
Summary: It was NYE at the Formans and the 70s were coming to an end. The countdown is on, but who is kissing who at midnight and why does it feel like this has happened before? Jackie/Hyde


DISCLIMAER: I do not own That 70s Show.

 _#ZENNIE#_

The room was dead silent although the sounds of fireworks could be heard in the distance.

"Did he just?"

"Uh-huh."

"And she-"

"Yep."

"Isn't now when Kelso yells-"

"BURN!"

"There it is, which means your mum will need the first aid kit in 3-2-1."

"OW! My eye!"

"It's good to be home."

 _#ZENNIE#_

It was officially 1980, Kelso was still an idiot, Donna was still a lumberjack, Forman was still a twitchy geek, Fez was still a candy loving pervert, Jackie was still a bitch, and Hyde was still a zen burnout. But everything had changed. Even if the people, and the places were the same.

"C'mon Fez, you can't just storm out of here, I just got back!"

"My goddess is never going to make animal monkey love with me now. Stupid Hyde! It was meant to be Fez's turn! Good day!"

The door slammed behind him reverberating through the rest of the house, Red sighed. If only he never returned. Any minute now his dumbass son would open his dumbass mouth and somehow insert his foot, and offend the neighbour girl or his mother. Kitty would send him to talk to the dumbass and his freeloading friend about their feelings and his night would be worse than the New Years Eve he spent dodging commie bastards in Korea.

"I should talk to Hyde."

"I think the more accurate sentence would be you should talk at Hyde, we both know he's going to be pulling that zen master silence bullshit right about now." Donna said glancing around the room, Kitty was still preoccupied fussing over Kelso's eye, and Red sat in his chair glaring at the room, or her dad; it really depended on his eye line.

"You sure know how to throw a party Red, this has been a hoot and a half!" Bob chuckled and took a sip from his fruity cocktail complete with umbrella.

"Go home Bob."

Donna wished she could follow after her dad and wash her hands of the night, but unfortunately she was right in the middle of it. Eric stood and gestured towards the basement, she nodded her agreement and shuffled past Kelso and Kitty heading for the kitchen stairs.

The couch was empty, the TV dark and the turntable unmoving. Eric headed into the backroom and peeked inside. No one.

"Well we tried." Eric exclaimed dramatically before collapsing on the couch. "How about some welcome home, thank Yoda you weren't mauled by a lion nookie?"

Donna looked at her scrawny, twitchy geek of a neighbour boy. It was on the tip of her tongue to point out that they had other things to worry about but she didn't. Her lips curled into a smile and she fell onto the couch beside him. The drama could wait until morning, it had been a long time since she had had the comfort of her boyfriend's arms around her. She almost felt guilty. Almost.

 _#ZENNIE#_

The woods are lovely, dark and deep. Robert Frost said that in some poem that Steven used to read to her. He probably wasn't talking about the woods around Mount Hump but they fit all the same. Right now she wanted to disappear into them, hide away from the world, leave this all behind her.

"Figured I'd find you here."

She'd heard the roar of the engine and the crunching of the ground beneath his boots. She'd just ignored it. She was getting good at that, ignoring things. Ignoring the past, ignoring the looks, ignoring her feelings, ignoring the ache in her chest. Ignore **him**.

"Congratulations. In a town the size of a potato chip you found me. You want a medal?"

She still wasn't quite as good at him at the ignoring part though. Her zen may have faded but her world famous mouth was still as razor sharp as ever.

His mouth set in a firm a line, it was going to be one of those conversations tonight. Great.

"Why? I just don't get it. Why would you do that? What possible reason beyond taking what little happiness I was trying to have and shredding it to pieces, putting it in a joint, smoking it and blowing it away could you have for doing that?"

"I don't know."

The worst three words in the English language, followed only by I love you. At least according to him.

"Have you ever?" She laughed humorously. Of course he didn't know, that was just how he lived his life, no plans, just one moment to the next.

"It just came out. Donna and Forman were being all mushy counting down from 10, Kelso was trying to grab her ass, Red was getting ready to throttle Bob and you... you were with him."

"So your immediate reaction was to scream get off my chick? I haven't been **your** chick in a long time."

"You used to love it when I called you that."

"I used to think Fonzie could beat up Bruce Lee. Things change." Jackie risked a look at his face, his eyes were shielded by his aviators which were useless since the sky was an inky black. His mouth was pointed downwards and his hands were gripped in fists at his side, all signs that he was angry. But he was always angry.

"Not everything. Not this. I tried to change it, I married a stripper to get you out of my head and it didn't work! You're still in here. Telling me I can be better, I can do better, I am better. You're kind of preachy."

"That's funny, because I can hear this voice in my head too. It's telling me I was a mistake, telling me you never loved me, that I'm a bitch, a brat, and a cheating whore. You're kind of an asshole."

Point Jackie. He may actually need to grovel this time.

"So why did you put up with me then? That's what I could never figure out. Why the princess of Point Place chose the dirty burnout with no parents." He was laying his cards out. It was the one thing that had always niggled at the back of his mind, never letting him get too comfortable, never letting him truly believe that she loved him.

"Some princess. A drunken whore for a mother, a criminal for a father. All I had was an empty house and an empty life. The other girls at school would step on my body for free gum, the only guy that I had ever been with treated me like dirt and cheated on me at every turn. You want to know why I chose Michael? I was 14 and he was cute. All the girls on the squad told me I was so lucky to have him after me. So I said yes. And it was fun, he told me I was beautiful and told me loved me. Do you know how long it had been since I had heard anyone tell me they loved me? Since I was 5. Right before my grandma died. My parents were too busy fighting to pay any attention to me. So I had Michael, and instead of caring about all the things that were wrong in our relationship I chose to believe he really did love me. And he did, in his way. He's not malicious, he didn't cheat to hurt me, he cheated because he's an idiot."

Hyde let it all sink in. The great Jackie-Kelso love affair he had built up in his head seemed to pale. They did fight a lot, and Kelso was always thinking with his dick first...

"Every time he hurt me, every time he cheated. You were there. The dirty burnout who hated me. Somehow you were the one who could actually make me **feel**. So I decided to chose that. Instead of finding another stupid guy at school who was only interested in sleeping with me, I decided to go with the guy who had let me cry on his shoulder, who took me to prom when he hated dancing and helped me when he didn't have to. Don't you get it? Michael was my first boyfriend, but you... you were my first love. You idiot."

She clenched her hand to her chest, willing herself to not slap those damn sunglasses off his face. She knew why he hid behind them, his eyes always gave him away.

"I am an asshole, and an idiot and I really don't deserve you but I thought you should know the truth. I was going to say yes. I drove to Chicago to tell you that when I do picture the future, I always see you there with me. I still do." He didn't know if it was fear that was actually allowing the words to fall from his mouth. Fear of Red killing him and disposing of the body in several places, fear of ending up like Bud or Edna or worse. Or whether he'd finally just realised that sometimes words weren't evil and feelings weren't the enemy.

"I love you. I don't show it well or at all but I do. When Sam knocked on that door I was relieved, finally the other shoe had dropped." He smiled ruefully. "You made me feel like I could be better but I was always waiting for you to realise I couldn't, that I wasn't worth your time. And then she shows up and I thought well here's the proof, I never thought you could forgive me for it and I knew that if I sent her away I would come running back to you. But you deserved better, you still do so I kept her around and tried to convince myself that it was for the best."

"The best for you maybe. You got sex with a stripper whenever you wanted and all I got was heartbreak. I didn't even have a best friend to help me through it. She was too busy drooling over your slut's trans am. The only person I had to talk to was Fez!"

"Is that why you went after him? Decided he was your soulmate?" Hyde kicked at the ground, he was wearing the boots she bought him, they were worn in and wrinkled but they were all he had left of her.

"Fez was there for me, he's always been there for me. Why shouldn't I give him a chance? At least he can't hurt me." She paused. "We have fun and it's easy but it's not love. You took my capacity to love and ruined it. I'm not looking for the fairy tale anymore, all I want is someone who will tell me they love me and actually mean it."

"What are you talking about? You are the ultimate love child, you only read books that end in happily ever after!"

"Those books were fiction. No one has happily ever after, not even Red and Kitty. They got each other sure but they also got Eric and Laurie. I've realised you can't have it all; love, happiness, career. So I'm choosing and I choose happiness. And I can be happy without love; I wont have to contend with the crippling fear that the person I've entrusted my heart to is about to rip it out. I'll be happy knowing it will never be broken again." She paused, it was hard to hear herself sound so jaded, so dejected. "Love doesn't make the world go round, it makes it crash and burn. I refuse to be love's bitch anymore. I give up. I choose a life without love, at least then I can be happy."

"Now that's the saddest thing I've ever heard." Hyde told her honestly. "All the great ones say it, all you need is love."

"As if quoting The Beatles is going to make me swoon." She snarked. "Love leaves you sad and alone."

"How is this happening? I'm the one telling you to believe in love? I'm one lyric away from Silly Love Songs." Hyde complained. "You always loved that song."

"Well what's wrong with that?" She teased lightly. "I also love songs about Waterloo and Dancing Queens. It doesn't mean anything."

"Then why are you even listening to me?" He challenged, there had to be a reason.

"I wanted to hear it, to know that you realise that you screwed this up. I can be happy if I know that you know you're the reason I gave up on love and my dreams of a family. Sure I might end up married with kids, but this time I'll pick someone I trust, someone who won't just run away. It won't be love but it at least I won't spend my life wondering if today is the day the man I choose will decide I'm too annoying, too loud, too whatever else his friends tell him. You always accused me of being too concerned with my reputation but I'm not the one who bowed to what his friends in the basement said. Eric calls me the devil and not once did you ever tell him that there was more to me, that there was a reason you were with me. You let them all believe that you couldn't care less about me that I was just there until some badass burnout chick who they would approve of showed up."

"That's some way to talk about our friends."

"Friends? Those people are not my friends, friends don't abandon each other whenever some slut in a trans am rolls into town. Eric I can forgive, it's not his fault his best friend is an idiot, but Donna? She can burn in hell, I'm sure the ensuing fire from burning her gigantic feet will keep it nice and toasty for another millennia." She snapped letting her anger get the best of her. Some of her wounds hadn't healed, they'd just been papered over and were beginning to crack. "The only reason I was even at the house tonight was because Mrs Forman started crying about all her babies leaving her and Fez wanted to see Eric and Michael."

"And what about me? Should I be grabbing some marshmallows to toast while I'm burning in hell?" His glasses were off, icy blue eyes exposed. Blue meet mismatched orbs, the pain reflected in each. Damn it.

"I don't hate you Steven, I can't. There's a fine line between love and hate. And no matter how much you toe it, no matter how much you hurt me, I still love you. I've resigned myself to that. I'm going to spend the rest of my life in love with an idiot."

He couldn't help himself, he folded the tiny brunette in his arms and glided his lips over hers. She protested, banging her small fists against his chest. His tongue slid into her mouth and her fists stopped pounding, moving up to his hair and curling into them, pulling him closer to her as he backed them into a tree, hoisting her legs up and around his waist.

"Steven stop. We can't do this." Jackie managed to gasp out. She was like a junky who'd just had their first fix in years. Which she kind of was.

"Why not?" He mumbled sucking on her neck, his hands roaming her thighs.

"Because I don't believe in fairy tales anymore, a kiss doesn't solve everything."

"Details baby, details."

Lowering his head, he captured her lips once again, this time she didn't resist.

 _#ZENNIE#_

She liked it when it was like this, her back to his chest, playing with his hands. Sometimes it was easier for them to talk when they didn't have to look at each other. She sighed, as soon as they talked all of this would end. It always did. Hyde tucked his chin onto her shoulder, pulling her closer into his body and tightening his grip around her middle.

"I had a ring. Princess cut, platinum. I'd had it for a while, I kept it in the safe at Grooves. I don't know my future, I never have. But I knew I wanted you in it, I just never thought I deserved to have you in it. When I got to the motel and Kelso was there, I knew you hadn't cheated, I knew that but just seeing him with you made me crazy. So I did what you always told me I did, I ran." He paused making sure Jackie herself wasn't about to run, she was silent. He hated when she did that, usually she was yapping away. When she was quiet, that's when you worried.

"Everything since that night has been hell, and I swear doll keeping Sam around was my own private hell. I burned you, I threw her in your face, I was trying to make you leave. I wanted you to leave all this shit in the past go back to Chicago, get your job back and forget all about Point Place. I guess I forgot how stubborn you can be. And all the pain I inflicted on you, it was killing me. But I figured I deserved it. I just never realised that none of it mattered because it didn't stop me from loving you."

"Red really should stick his foot up your ass, you know that?" Jackie laughed, it was bitter. "You're an absolute, stupid helmet, Michael level idiot. Why am I in love with you?"

"Just lucky I guess."

"If we do this, it's the last time. No more running away, no more burns, no more distrust. You have to talk to me, you have to tell me what you're feeling." Jackie ticked things off on her fingers. "And so help me God if the words 'I don't know' ever pass your lips again I will break your shin in half with my pointiest boots."

"Yes dear."

Jackie arched her eye brow and raised her pinky, his friends would kick his ass if he knew she had him wrapped around it, literally. He linked his own pinky with hers and sealed it with a kiss.

"I love you Steven, don't screw this up." Jackie offered him her hand to help him off the ground.

"In the interest of full disclosure, I need to show you something and you can kick me ass over it later." Hyde scratched his head, he had kept this secret since that night in the beer warehouse. Sam didn't even know about it, not that it was hard to hide, they may have shared a bed but he never slept with his wife. The thought revolted him, made him feel Amish and he just couldn't raise the barn. Not that that stopped her from loudly discussing their non-existent sex life in front of Jackie, pretending their life together was magic. In some ways it was, just like magic it was fake. Working slowly he unbuttoned his jacket, and pulled his shirt over his head. Goosebumps danced across his flesh in the cold Wisconsin air.

"A TATTOO? WHEN DID YOU GET A TATTOO?" She traced her fingers across the ink on his ribs.

"That night we got drunk at the warehouse, I decided it seemed like a good idea. Leo did it, lucky for me he didn't screw it up like he did Forman's. You can't be that mad babe, it was for you." He shivered, more from her touch than from the cold.

"I can't believe you tattooed this to your body. Sam must have hated it." Jackie snickered grinning at the thought.

"She never saw it, and please don't make me explain that. Just make of it whatever you want." She was still tracing the tattoo, like she was memorising it.

"My name on your body, it's kind of sexy." She murmured leaning up and kissing the scrawl. "I should probably show you something too."

"I told you, they don't count if they come off with water." Hyde replied pulling his shirt back on.

"Trust me, this didn't go away no matter how much I scrubbed it." Jackie pulled down her jeans, revealing his name on her hip. "While I was waiting for you to show back up after Chicago, I went out with Donna and drank myself into a stupor. I was trying to think of a way to show you that you were the one for me. I woke up with a bandage on my hip and a hangover that wouldn't leave."

Hyde's eyes were glued to her hip, the red underwear peaking out of her jeans and his name in cursive.

"That is so bad ass." He leant down and kissed it lavishing it with his tongue.

"What were you going to do when Fez saw that?"

"Ew!" Jackie exclaimed before she could help herself. "I hadn't thought that far ahead. I was still working my way up to kissing him. He's going to be so mad at me. What if he throws me out of the apartment?"

"We'll work it out."

"Who are you and what have you done with Steven?" Jackie asked alarmed at his use of the word 'we'.

"I told you babe, no more running. I'm stuck with you and you're stuck with me." In his mind, that was romantic. Jackie rolled her eyes and slapped him with her purse.

"Take me home you pig."

 _#ZENNIE#_


End file.
